onedayleft: (alix)
[personal profile] onedayleft
The thing is it's like being gagged and bound
Around him I can't move
I try not to speak
I want to be meek, serene, ladylike
I am none of these things
I want to impress without him knowing I'm trying to Impress
Without anyone else catching on
I rest my elbow on the table
My cheek on my palm
I stare at a crack or a dirt speck
Or anything
I can't be poetic and romantic
That's pathetic
I can't be loud, fun loving, making inappropriate jokes
That screams "one of the guys"
I can't speak to him
I can't write about it
I can't talk to anyone

And this is not poetic but rather
A rant in broken lines

It is useless, pointless
Trying to impress someone who wont be impressed
I can already see the lines
See the definition of how it is to be

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onedayleft

May 2010

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